Posts in Hollistic
The new relationship anxiety

So, you meet a guy. First date went well. He asked for a second date on the first, score. Second date went great too. There’s been some fun playful banter over text in-between seeing each other. Third date is even better. And now, you’re not really hearing from him. He’s still reaching out but, maybe there’s more time in-between his responses to you. The anxiety sets in. Is it me? What happened? Is he bailing?

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Foolish games

One of the biggest complaints I hear about dating as a love coach is the amount of games involved when seeing someone. I understand the complaint and I used to have a similar one even though I was out there playing all sorts of game too. Now, I recognizes games are useless and not needed. What is sorely need in place of games is radical vulnerability and boundaries. What’s the difference? Glad you asked!

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Foundations

As a love coach, most of my clients seek me out because they want to get into a relationship and haven't had any luck. I can completely understand their turmoil because I myself have ben through a similar longing. They are often very surprised (and resistant!) when I tell them to take a 3-6 month break from dating. "But! I want a relationship", they exclaim. It may seem counter intuitive to take a break from the very thing you want but, it isn't. Here's why…

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Travel yourself

On Friday, I will have been back in the states for 3 months. I feel like I have readjusted to life back in the states after 3 months and am happy to be here. I do feel the shift that happened while I traveled, realizing what's actually important to me has stuck with me upon my return and for that I am grateful. While I was reading IG yesterday, Dani Bernstein posted about feeling melancholy on a trip she had been manifesting for years. Reading her words I was struck by my own feeling of melancholy while traveling and a deep nostalgia I feel now. 

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Needs

Once upon a time, I was dating a truly wonderful guy. I hadn't written a list down for the partner I was looking for at that time but, if I had, he would have been the whole thing. He treated me like a Queen, was romantic without me asking, loved me and had his shit together. He was fantastic. Yet, I constantly complained to him about him not doing this or that enough. When we broke up, he told me he felt like nothing he did was enough. It wasn't. However, it wasn't because of something he wasn't doing. It was because of something I wasn't doing. 

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Body love

Have you ever felt like you won't be able to attract a partner in until you lose 10lbs, tone up, do more squats to lift your butt? I have. Not only is it a lie, it's also a huge block to finding real, lasting love. For years, when I saw a cute guy I would immediately dismiss him finding me attractive because I was too, insert perceived body flaw, and would immediately shut down energetically. Shutting down energetically made me feel small and I literally shrank away and out of this person's view. My limited belief was the guy would only see my flaws and therefore find me not good enough. 

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Lessons learned while traveling

I have been back in the states for exactly one month and one day. This past month, I've gotten really quiet, gotten out in nature as much as possible so, I could integrate my trip as best I can. Last year I learned that giving myself space after transformative events is essential to my well being. If I don't give myself a pause to rest, reset and let all the new knowledge sink in after transformation then the changes get put on hold or on the back burner. Nothing is ever lost but, it just takes a whole heck of a lot longer to begin applying what was learned. So, I've allowed for the integrating.

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