Feels

 Collage by the talented  Rosie Sayers

Collage by the talented Rosie Sayers

Happy cancer season! Did you y'all feel the powerful new moon in Cancer on Friday? Cancer was rippling our waters surface and with it letting all of our emotions bubble up. I have certainly been feeling it! I have been navigating into new situations that need a lot of care, consideration and time. I am happily giving all three but, I've noticed the amount of fears and anxiety popping up since Friday. Beginnings (and new moons) typically do cause the rippling and waves of our emotional waters to drudge up feelings/thoughts/patterns we weren't aware of being under our surface. Those little guys usually hide in our murky depths and wait to pop out at, what can feel like, the most inopportune time. I know I have thought of, "didn't I deal with you already?!" more than once over the weekend when witnessing certain patterns I have worked on letting go. When cancer season has rolled around in the past or a new beginning is making me uncomfortable, I have leaned into the anxiety and spiraled down a black hole of despair of shame/beating myself up. Now, however I have found a new perspective on these situations and have found more peace through challenging feelings because of it. 

In the past, if I would start to feel lonely, anxiety, or fear, I would spiral out and get lost in the emotional roller coaster for a day or even weeks. Sometimes, I've rode those ups and downs for months. Now, when I feel my watery depths rising up, I instead view it not as my enemy but as my body/soul/mind waving a white flag at me. My emotions/thoughts/patterns are showing me where I need to give myself some extra care and attention. I will use last weekend as an example: All last week, I was busy at work, picked up a side gig, had a best friend in town and was navigating a new situation. Plus, my other life commitments. Basically, I was booked to the brim and let my self care practices slide and was not making my sleep a priority. Friday rolled around and familiar thoughts of fear/anxiety started hitting me pretty hard. Digging into my tool box, helped me see those emotions as a white flag from deep within in and informing me I had veered too far away from self love. I had over booked myself to the point that I wasn't being cared for anymore-- even though I was doing fun things that I loved. I still needed time to recharge, rest, and unwind to feel my healthiest physically and emotionally. I didn't freak out but instead, investigated and pulled back in. I took a nap and wrote in my journal. I had soul conversations with a dear friend that always leave me rejuvenated. I made sure I broke a sweat to get endorphins moving and took time alone to just be. I also did some self work to dispel a persistent fear that was arising and helped move the thought to a healthier narrative that serves me.  By Monday morning, I was back to feeling calm and centered.

Is something, or a lot of somethings, coming up for you? Are you viewing your emotions as the enemy? Can you instead start to view your thoughts and uncomfortable feelings as a map of where you need to look with more love and compassion? So often, we think we need an external cure but, I would argue 99.9% of the time, all we need is our own healing power. 

If you're having trouble moving through any of the above I would love to help guide you to calmer waters. Visit my contact page and drop me a note! 

 

Amanda Blair