On Friday, I will have been back in the states for 3 months. I feel like I have readjusted to life back in the states after 3 months and am happy to be here. I do feel the shift that happened while I traveled, realizing what's actually important to me has stuck with me upon my return and for that I am grateful. While I was reading IG yesterday, Dani Bernstein posted about feeling melancholy on a trip she had been manifesting for years. Reading her words I was struck by my own feeling of melancholy while traveling and a deep nostalgia I feel now.
I've been wanting to do a long term travel trip since I was a kid. I truly didn't think I would ever be able to swing it by myself. But, I continued to put it on all my manifestation lists/new moon lists. I had faith that it would work out, with zero idea of the how it would come to be and somehow and it did! I manifested the perfect job to allow me to save money and I actually saved it (versus spend it) for the first time in my life. I manifested a cheap plane ticket out of the country. My boss, let me know when I told her of my plans that I would be welcome when I came back and I'm working for her again now (it's the perfect bridge job as I build my own business). This time I'm able to work remotely and working remotely was yet another item on my manifestation list that I got to tick off. When I was traveling I found love; a deeply healing relationship that brought me joy and so much love. All of these big ticket items fell into place for me inside my trip that the joy I feel from it is equal to the ache for it's passing.
At time, as I wander through my day to day now, I catch myself wondering if my travels were real. I had yearned for them for so long and then I was in them and then I was home. I felt a little like Dorthy when she wakes up from her dream, in the Wizard of Oz. Then my memory will pull up a memory of riding a motorbike around Vietnam and I am filled with gratitude once more for the incredible opportunity to see the world. What Danielle pointed out in her in IG post is we often think the big ticket items on our manifestation lists will solve everything- the relationship, the travel, the career, etc. And they won't. When I was traveling I felt anxious about being unproductive for the first four months of my trip. I was truly unsure of what to do with myself and felt GUILT for doing whatever I wanted even though that was the very purpose of the whole thing. I was amazed that the feelings I had in my day to day, followed me around the world too. It did provide space for me to really look at my feelings/thoughts/patterns and create real change without a distraction. And that is pretty powerful.
I do, however, miss traveling terribly. Even though the idea of being in one spot with all my own things and my own bed (I'm still bouncing around LA right now house sitting for friends) sounds like absolute heaven, I still miss being in different countries every other month. I decided pretty early on, upon returning to the states that I could take my favorite things about travel and apply them to my everyday life. Guy taught me that actually. He told me travel wasn't about where you were, travel was all about getting outside of your comfort zone and traveling yourself. I wanted to share how I'm continuing to travel myself back in the states:
Travel favorite: Being somewhere totally new, unique and fresh to me
Home remedy: Right now, I'm still experiencing this because I'm in LA and exploring all sorts of new neighborhoods but everything is familiar because I'm in my own country. The way I've been keeping that feeling of curiosity, discovery and freshness about what I'm experiencing is finding new museums, restaurants, shops and areas to explore. It means I don't just go to the places I know and love, I actively seek out the new too. For example, the other day I was hiking runyon canyon and on my out I saw a sign for a man offering a Japanese healing technique. I stopped and made sure to try it!
Travel favorite: Space to be quiet and without distraction
Home remedy: This is something I now find incredibly sacred and will not give up. As I mentioned, I manifested a remote working situation and it is ideal for helping me create space while still working. My mornings are sacred and I don't look at my phone or computer for the first 45min - hour upon waking. In that time, I am slowing waking up, hydrating, meditating, getting sun and writing my morning pages. Once the day is under way, I take breaks to walk, stretch my legs, practice yoga or lay down with a book. Setting aside time to get quiet is extra important to me and I try to do it every day.
Travel favorite: Meeting new people
Home remedy: This one definitely doesn't require leaving where you live it just requires a little effort. I make sure to make engage in conversation with those around me just like I did when traveling. I also utilize Lacy's INCREDIBLE Facebook group to connect with like minded women. I used this while traveling in Bali and ended up meeting two really incredible ladies.
Travel favorite: Only doing things that light me up
Home remedy: I am saying NO a lot more. When I was traveling, I felt ZERO pressure to do anything I didn't want to do. I was told countless times to go see the islands in Cambodia and Thailand. I had zero desire to do so and guess what? I didn't go. I spent a lot of time just relaxing and not sight seeing and it was freeing. Luckily, I am keeping this up but, truly only doing things that light me up. For example, my boss asked if upon returning to NYC, I wanted to come into the office for more hours. I was tempted to say yes because more money is always nice (traveling was fantastic but, did take allll my savings). The more I thought about it that more I realized it did not light me up in anyway possible. I said no. The world didn't end. In fact, it got a little brighter because I'm saying yes for the things that I really want.
Travel favorite: Lack of busyness
Home remedy: It took me four months to figure this out: our worth is not defined by what we do. Travel allowed me to break up with "busyness" and I gotta say, we are never, ever getting back together. Now that I am home, I allow myself to soak up down time. I stopped feeling bad/guilty about not having something to do and celebrate instead. Quiet time is creating space for the Universe to come in and communicate and guide us. Being busy is cause for more suffering in my opinion.
Photo by the talented Kat Harris