Emotionally unavailable humans

Hello humans! I had the distinct pleasure of being a guest speaker on my friend Kat Harris new course on dating. I spoke with her community on a topic very close to my heart— emotionally unavailable humans!

Kat originally had me come on to chat about emotionally unavailable men (her course is for Christian women), but added the genius twist of explaining to these women how they could ALSO be showing up as emotionally unavailable. I loved getting to talk about how all humans can be emotionally unavailable because it’s TRUE. There have been times in my life where I was showing up that way and didn’t realize it. So…keep reading to see the ways you could be showing up emotionally available and ways a potential partner could be too. And should someone be emotionally unavailable, then bye!

*a note about this list— it isn’t black and white. For example— never been in a long term relationship. This is for 30 somethings (20 somethings it’s more appropriate) However, if the person talks about how they haven’t had a long relationship and the reasons why and how they’ve done work on themselves than that is a different story.

Signs a human is emotionally unavailable:

-When asked what they are looking for they say things like, let’s just see where this goes, I don’t know what I want, I want to keep things light, I want to keep things casual, etc. 

-communication is inconsistent

-if they say they will text you at a certain time or show up at a certain time and don’t

-they avoid talking to you about difficult things when you bring them up

-if/when you get emotional, they try to fix or stay stoic 

-hasn’t had a long term relationship 

-not introducing you to friends/family 

-has experienced trauma in childhood

-in a relationship with someone else or married

-tethering- when someone strings you along by texting regularly, but breaking plans when it gets close to hanging out

-they wait until the last minute to solidify plans 

-difficulty handling conflict

-evasive about their past 

-seeking perfection in a partner 

-they won’t commit