Holistic Living • Relationships • Thoughts & Musings
Whew. This is going to be one my most venerable posts. Why? Well, the stories I share here used to create a lot of shame within me. And though, I don’t feel that shame presently, sharing this still feels raw. It feels really important to share though because I know other humans go through this too. How do we get over an ex we can’t seem to get over?
Read More“You don’t act like a 30 year old Amanda!”
Read MoreWhen I was in college I met a boy and we dated on and off for a year. I was very in love with him but could never fully express my feelings because the relationship never felt secure. He never told me how he felt about me for one and for two we barely saw each other despite the fact that we lived a whole 5 minutes from the other and went to the same college. We also cheated on each other! It was a weird relationship to say the least. But, I couldn’t let him go! Even after we broke up and he was dating someone else, I was still his side chick. I told my friends at the time even though logically I understood why I should walk away, my heart wouldn’t let me.
Read MoreHave you ever been called crazy? I have. I've been called it to my face and behind my back. Both are equally demeaning and heartbreaking. I hear a lot of men call their ex girlfriends or women they aren't interested in as "crazy" but, I mostly hear women calling other women "crazy". It drives me nuts (pun intended) and I think it needs to stop.
Read MoreHow do you talk about a guy who recently spurned you with your girlfriends? Not so great I would guess. It's common, we all do it and egg each other on each time. "He was a dick!", you'll tell a friend to ease the sting of a recent heart break. "He is emotionally stunted and fuck him!", you'll console your friend who just got ghosted. Right? I've done it a thousand times. It seems harmless right? It isn't.
Read MoreAlright, we are getting into it...online dating. The good, the bad, the ugly and the how-to-sane while online dating.
Read MoreLet's talk about sex. Actually, let's talk about the part of sex no one wants to talk about- STD's and HIV. Sexy!
Read MoreDating is weird...prickly even. See what I did there? All kidding aside, I was single for 8 years in New York and dated A LOT. I've had 1,000 (rough estimate) first dates and probably had my heart broken as many times. NYC is a tough place to look for love. When I was about to move to New York, I read a magazine article that said if I was looking for a husband to move to Denver because I wouldn't find one in NYC. I believe I know the reason why.
Read MoreThe terms "breaking up" typically conjures up feelings of resentment, hurt, drama and all around icky feelings. Am I right? In my past, breakups were very dramatic, left both parties in pieces and burned a lot of bridges. I didn't realize there was any other way to do it.
Read MoreDo you ever feel like you have to stand still to find love? I sure did. It's part of the reason I put off traveling for so long. It felt very scary to leave and be nomadic when I wasn't already in a relationship. It is, of course, the irony of the Universe that the moment I went traveling, I found my partner and entered into a beautiful 7 month relationship. The thing I was fearful would prevent me from finding love is exactly how I found it!
Read MoreWhen I was younger and right up until last year actually, I believed that because I wasn't the kind of writer I wanted to be in that moment, I never would be. I thought if I wasn't born Fitzgerald, Elizabeth Gilbert, Zadie Smith or Nicole Kraus then what's the point? I couldn't be a writer because I clearly didn't have the natural born talent of the writers I admire most. I created this road block in my mind and no matter how many detours I took, I couldn't get past it. The road block inevitably stopped me. My grammar is C + at best and my spelling isn't great without spell check so, as a result my sentences are clunky. I let this hinder me and told my dream of being a writer to go wither and die somewhere because it wasn't going to happen for me.
Read MoreI have been home for three weeks and I cannot believe it! When I got home it felt...anticlimactic. The momentum of my trip came to a screeching halt and even though I had done/seen so much, it felt like I came home empty handed.
Read MoreOne of the great parts of traveling is meeting people who end up, consciously or unconsciously, sharing a piece of wisdom with me that ends up altering my life.
Read MoreI’ve been traveling for about 3 weeks now. Thus far, it’s been more than I expected, harder than I prepared for and more rewarding than I could have imagined. One week into my trip I made a decision—I’m staying longer than I originally thought. My original plan was to travel for four months. I’m now going to try to travel for 7 months, money willing. I knew the moment I got to Cambodia, I needed more time. Being on my own and seeing new countries is pretty cool but, the traveling I’m doing inside of myself is why I am extending my trip. I’ll explain...
Read MoreAs I get ready to leave on Saturday for my four month adventure (!), I've been reflecting on my journey in New York. One of my favorite things about this city is when I'm walking down a street, see a certain stoop, corner or spot, I am instantly transported back to a past version of me.
Read MoreHave you ever been a situation not serving you and you stayed anyway? Me too. Actually, I have spent far too long in most situations that don't serve me. I have stayed mostly out of fear and lack of feeling worthy of more. I was fearful to walk away and close a door because what if another door never opened?! I would stay and stay and stay, camped out at a door half open and beg for scraps. And the thing about scraps is you can survive on them. So, I would stay longer because I was being fed something. Never mind that I felt miserable, low, sad or half crazy. I was surviving.
Read MoreDo you remember your first drink? I do.
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