Posts tagged self love
Single and the Holidays

Being single around the Holidays tends to get a bad rap. Movies depict this scenario as being sad and the single person (it’s usually a woman) longing for love. And the trope has stuck. However, it doesn’t have to be that way. Being single isn’t a curse or something we are afflicted with or a burden. Being single is a time of self discovery, exploration and being selfish.

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The new relationship anxiety

So, you meet a guy. First date went well. He asked for a second date on the first, score. Second date went great too. There’s been some fun playful banter over text in-between seeing each other. Third date is even better. And now, you’re not really hearing from him. He’s still reaching out but, maybe there’s more time in-between his responses to you. The anxiety sets in. Is it me? What happened? Is he bailing?

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Vulnerability

I am a love coach. What that means is I help my clients find love. The way I do help is by guiding them on rebuilding their inner foundation so that it is rooted in self love, self worth and their own power. Once they have built a foundation and trust in themselves then they can go to call in the relationship of their dreams. How do I know this works? I did it for myself first.

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Foundations

As a love coach, most of my clients seek me out because they want to get into a relationship and haven't had any luck. I can completely understand their turmoil because I myself have ben through a similar longing. They are often very surprised (and resistant!) when I tell them to take a 3-6 month break from dating. "But! I want a relationship", they exclaim. It may seem counter intuitive to take a break from the very thing you want but, it isn't. Here's why…

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Shift to neutral

How do you talk about a guy who recently spurned you with your girlfriends? Not so great I would guess. It's common, we all do it and egg each other on each time. "He was a dick!", you'll tell a friend to ease the sting of a recent heart break. "He is emotionally stunted and fuck him!", you'll console your friend who just got ghosted. Right? I've done it a thousand times. It seems harmless right? It isn't. 

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Needs

Once upon a time, I was dating a truly wonderful guy. I hadn't written a list down for the partner I was looking for at that time but, if I had, he would have been the whole thing. He treated me like a Queen, was romantic without me asking, loved me and had his shit together. He was fantastic. Yet, I constantly complained to him about him not doing this or that enough. When we broke up, he told me he felt like nothing he did was enough. It wasn't. However, it wasn't because of something he wasn't doing. It was because of something I wasn't doing. 

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Body love

Have you ever felt like you won't be able to attract a partner in until you lose 10lbs, tone up, do more squats to lift your butt? I have. Not only is it a lie, it's also a huge block to finding real, lasting love. For years, when I saw a cute guy I would immediately dismiss him finding me attractive because I was too, insert perceived body flaw, and would immediately shut down energetically. Shutting down energetically made me feel small and I literally shrank away and out of this person's view. My limited belief was the guy would only see my flaws and therefore find me not good enough. 

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Running- a love story

I have run my whole life but, never considered myself a runner until recently. I've been running since I was 12 when, my then Step Dad told me I was fat and needed to lose weight. I wasn't fat but, the insensitive comment sent me down the "eating disorder" spiral for a long, long time. It also got me obsessed with work outs that would make me skinny. Running and yoga seemed to fit the bill. And so my journey with with working out began. 

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Closing doors

Have you ever been a situation not serving you and you stayed anyway? Me too. Actually, I have spent far too long in most situations that don't serve me. I have stayed mostly out of fear and lack of feeling worthy of more. I was fearful to walk away and close a door because what if another door never opened?! I would stay and stay and stay, camped out at a door half open and beg for scraps. And the thing about scraps is you can survive on them. So, I would stay longer because I was being fed something. Never mind that I felt miserable, low, sad or half crazy. I was surviving. 

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